Sunday, 13 March 2016

March: Externalising

This is the month where I consider what I put on me. What products do I use to preen, polish, clean etc.

Items (left to right): Sanex dermo-sensitive deodorant, Boots Botanics hydrating day cream, Weleda sea buckthorn hand cream, Alberto Balsalm hydrating repair hair conditioner, Faith in Nature jojoba shampoo, Weleda birch body scrub, solid soap (make and name unknown/forgotten), Colgate total advanced whitening toothpaste and The Body Company rose body oil.

These are all the things I use on a regular basis on my body and to keep me healthy. It's a mix that is part consideration, and part ease. The conditioner, for example was the cheapest in the shop, and the soap varies from month to month. This particular soap was purchased in TKMaxx because I had forgotten to replace my almost finished soap and it was an emergency. I normally try to buy soap with the fewest ingredients possible, but that day there were few shops open, and I didn't have much time. This soap, I remember, was tied in with projects in Africa. And for lack of options it was that that made me purchase this particular soap.

Most other things, however are a result of trial and error over the years, and a conscious decision to try and cut out some chemicals where possible. There are a couple of things in this group that I would like to discuss further, and others that I would actually like to research more this month, and change for a more ecologically friendly option.

First of all let me discuss the body oil. This was also a TKMaxx impulse purchase, bought because I couldn't resist. I used to always use baby oil on my skin - the gentlest kindest way of getting some moisture onto my pasty Scottish skin, but then I found out more about the ingredients of baby oil (distilled petroleum jelly, anyone?) and immediately removed that from my beauty products. I was tempted therefore, by the Body Companies body oil whose ingredients are listed as the following: Safflower oil, cotton seed oil, almond oil, argan oil, jojoba oil, sunflower oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, essential oil and parfum. That's it. Of course, it's not organic, and there's no information about the production of these oils, but I was impressed that the ingredients solely consisted of oils. Unfortunately, the parfum aspect of the ingredients is overwhelming (the name should have been a hint of this!) and the smell of rose makes me slightly headachy. I really don't like bottled scents (Weleda are actually the exception to this as they create wonderful smells, without fail, in their products) and especially not scents of rose and lavender.... I really didn't think this purchase through! But... it does make my skin super soft so I guess, winner?!

The things I want to reconsider:

Face cream, deodorant and toothpaste. They will be considered in a separate post, but I have samples from a wonderful looking organic skincare company coming any day, and will feedback on that product when it comes!

At the moment I am pretty sure the deodorant will be too harsh and chemically, and the moisturiser is too heavy for my sensitive skin. It's 81% organic, but the formula is thick, dense and heavily perfumed. If I use it for too many days in a row, my face goes very red in protest!

So that's the next stage, a bit of research, a bit of experimentation until I find products that work wholly for me, and are not altering my chemistry, the water that I wash with, or having big impacts in how they're made and what they're made from.

Do you have any products that you particularly like or work very well for you?

Thursday, 3 March 2016


I feel like I'm hovering on the brink of a melancholia. There are so many words that I want to come out, so much sadness that I feel in my heart. There's so much bad that I'm witnessing right now, and try as I can to fight against it there's just not quite so many lighthearted moments in my day.

When driving I laugh like a maniac. I laugh my head off, to try and lighten my spirit, and my spirit is light, but then I get out of my car and the badness starts. I want to work with my hands. I want to create something, make something. Get mud under my fingernails.

See the full moon (see the moon, full stop)
Hug someone that I love, someone that loves me back. And keep on hugging. One of those real long hugs that go beyond the feeling of uncomfortableness and take you to a whole new level. 
I want to see some hope
To feel the wind on my face
the water on my skin
and my muscles tiring because of real, honest, proper work

Have you ever heard the quote: 
"It's better to look back and say "I can't believe I did that" rather than to look back and say "I wish I'd done that"?" Well, I feel like it's a while since I have had that experience of can't-believe-I-did-that. A long while since I've had that proper experience. But there's no one holding me back but myself and to say otherwise, to pretend otherwise is to give myself excuses that I do not deserve. I'm not being hard on myself, just honest, for I am far past the stage when I might have had that as a genuine reason to hold me back. In reality: I am free.